Kindness

Since lockdown began some 8 or 9 weeks ago, many have noticed the apparent increase in acts of kindness, of people helping others in their community with shopping and collecting prescriptions, people getting to know their neighbours for the first time and people offering emotional support over the phone those feeling lonely and isolated. In my mind this is one of the main silver linings emerging out of this difficult time, that we as communities can develop a strong sense of connection and demonstrate a deep and genuine concern for one another in times of crisis. It’s part of what people call the ‘great British spirit’ of pulling together when the going gets tough and it seems to be working. There is also national and international recognition and appreciation of the amazing level of care and kindness being shown by our wonderful NHS, care workers and many other frontline staff. Today is Thursday and this evening once again, millions across the country will take part in the weekly ‘Clap for Carers’, something else that has helped to bring neighbours and communities a sense of togetherness during this challenging time.

About a year ago I bought the book ‘Lost Connections’ by Johann Hari which proposes that our growing sense of disconnection from one another, ironically as technology claims to make us more connected than ever, is likely to be the reason for the rising levels of depression and anxiety across the world. (His 2015 TED talk on the link between addiction and connection is also well worth watching.)

It seems that in a world where we can accumulate every material item we could possibly want (provided we have the money to pay for it), we find ourselves lacking the very thing that makes us happy. The recent popularity of minimalism as a way of letting go of the things we don’t need in order to discover what really matters also supports this. There seems to be a growing movement where people are starting to wake up to the fact that money, or stuff, doesn’t make us happy, that perhaps a sense of belonging, of loving others and being loved by others, does.

The BBC and news channels seem to love using the phrase “we’re all in this together” and, although it’s true in one sense, we ARE all living through this lockdown time together, it is however a vastly different experience for each one of us. We are in the same storm but different boats. Some of us have family members living with us, which could be a source of strength and support or the exact opposite; some are living alone and might not speak to another human being all day long; some have young children to care for 24/7; some are in abusive relationships; some are struggling with depression or anxiety; some have lost their income overnight while others are living in luxurious surroundings with all the creature comforts they could wish for. It is not the same experience for everyone. The phrase “be kind” has recently been posted across social media to encourage people to be kind to each person we see, simply because we do not know what they are going through.

This week is mental health awareness week and the theme this year, funnily enough, is kindness “because of it’s ability to unlock our shared humanity. Kindness strengthens relationships, develops community and deepens solidarity. Our individual and collective mental health depend on kindness, and it is something that everyone should experience and practise.” (https://www.mind-blmk.org.uk/news/mhaw2020/). Similarly, one of the key ways to improve wellbeing, according to the mental health charity MIND is to show kindness to others because this creates feelings of connection and a sense of self-worth.

Kindness can also be costly. It is quite easy to be kind to those who are kind to us, but much more difficult to show kindness to those who are unkind towards us. Jesus took this one step further though and said that we should love our enemies and pray blessings on those who hurt us (Matthew 5:43-44). So I leave you with this challenge: What can you do during lockdown to show kindness to others, including those who have been unkind to you?